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Baby or career: young women cannot have it both ways

Minette Marrin

The idea that we can plan our lives is fairly new and very western. For thousands of years people assumed that their destinies were not in their own hands, but in the unpredictable grasp of gods or demons or chance or family history or destiny. Man proposes but God (or something ineffable) disposes – that was how everybody thought.
Now, however, we in the rich world imagine we can choose our fates; we can eliminate diseases, double our harvests, split the atom, uncover the mysteries of the moon and even hold back time.
This feeling of being in control began slowly, not much more than 300 years ago in the West with the scientific revolution, but in the 20th century it suddenly burst forth as a new religious belief. We got antibiotics, we got vaccines, we got mass transport, mass communication and the mass information revolution and we got contraception. That, particularly, seemed to make women the mistresses of their own destinies. Those over 50 will remember that contraception used to be called family planning; we women thought we could plan our lives and our brilliant careers. We were mistaken.
Last week the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists put out a statement about the best time to have babies. Aware of the trend for women to have their first baby when older (and of its painful consequences), their advice is that women who put off motherhood into their middle thirties and beyond are taking unwise risks and the best age for childbearing is between 20 and 35. It is much easier to get pregnant during this time, on average, and much harder later, even with IVF; older mothers are much more likely to miscarry or to have babies with problems.
Well, yes. We all knew that. Every courageous granny and good GP has been saying that for the past 40 years. Just because many of us found, luckily, that we could easily have babies in our thirties, it does not mean it's a good risk for everyone or that the age of motherhood can move up bit by bit as medical technology advances. Of course it would in theory be good for women to have babies early. Lots of commentators came forth last week, in view of all this, to urge young women to "have that baby now".
This is completely, cruelly unrealistic. The truth is that however much one wants children, for an ambitious woman there is never a good time to have a baby. And even if there were, it certainly is not something that can easily be planned. All that one can plan is when not to have a baby and that, of course, is a great freedom. However, there are so many uncontrollable variables.
Take the case of Ms Hopeful Youngthing. At 25 or 26 she has finished a second degree, essential if she is to become a high-flying businesswoman, lawyer, doctor or whatever. She is as poor as any student and couldn't afford a baby, childcare etc. More important, she hasn't got a babyfather: Mr Right-Enough hasn't come along yet. Besides, she has to put her toes on the first rung of the career ladder and climb; she needs to do a professional apprenticeship, make contacts and get experience. Starting out like this, working terrible hours as ambitious young people do, is incompatible with having babies. When you have everything to prove, serious ambition is not a part-time thing.
If Ms Youngthing is lucky she may get sent abroad for a while to gain valuable experience, but when she comes home she will need time to re-establish herself and start looking again for Mr Right-Enough – sadly, gorgeous Herr Ganz Genug was not prepared to leave Munich and follow her to her new job in London. Then her love life may become rather fitful, given the long hours in her competitive world. By the time she's 30 or 31 or 32, she feels broody but still uncertain about her current lover, Mr Almost Right-Enough, her professional equal, and he goes off with someone younger, less stressed and easily impressed.
Alternatively she moves in with him and what with work and their enormous mortgage and debts, they don't feel in a position to take on the cost of having babies. Then suddenly she's successful, exhausted and 37 and he has gone off with someone younger and less career-driven, having worked out that you cannot have two demanding careers in one family. Where does planning fit into any of that?
There was never a good or obvious moment for Ms Youngthing to have a baby and it's cruel and unrealistic to tell her, as she sits in the IVF clinic, that she should have done so at twentysomething. Besides, what if she had, having providentially met Mr Right-Enough when very young?
Miraculously he was somehow able to provide for her – although they couldn't afford childcare, since her earning power was so low – and she produced three babies by the age of 30, as medically recommended. Then at thirtysomething, still the clever, ambitious woman of before but now with no work experience, no contacts and not much confidence – a side effect of staying at home – she is not very marketable and certainly not in the world she once aspired to. Not earning a great deal, she still can't afford much childcare so she hopes for flexi-time – something like hen's teeth for a working woman who isn't already established.
Ms Youngthing might rise above all these obstacles but then again, in a competitive world, she might not. It is difficult for a mother to go back to a competitive work environment without having established herself before having babies.
She is now of no more use than a 22-year-old but with less commitment and less time. Meanwhile, her younger sister of 24 is miserable that her responsible 26-year-old husband is not prepared to start a family for several years, until he can get on top of their student debts, get established in his stressful career and have just a little child-free fun while still young. So she can't have an early baby either. Again, she might rise above such handicaps or she might not.
These uncertainties apply most harshly to the most ambitious and career-minded women. But to some degree they apply to most women, except to those whose jobs can really be taken up and put down very easily.
Life is full of countless imponderables which can't be wished away and the idea that we or our doctors or our government are in charge of planning our destinies is largely an illusion. On the other hand, if there is no right time to have a baby, perhaps there's no particularly wrong time either, assuming there is at least a father available. Happy Father's Day.

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Children creatively unlock secrets of a UFO

Children at Sparhawk school in Norwich investigate the UFO

When children from an infant and nursery school discovered a UFO in their playground they conducted a month-long investigation to find out how and why it was there.

Their research was part of a cross-curricular project called Who Talks? Who Listens?, designed to develop children's key skills through questioning, speaking, listening and problem-solving and help them learn about the importance of looking after the environment.
It was funded by Creative Partnerships, a creative learning programme delivered by the annual Norfolk and Norwich arts festival.
Children aged three to seven from Sparhawk Infant and Nursery School in Sprowston, Norwich, uncovered clues and messages to solve the mystery of a strange white flashing globe.
The child-led investigation was captured in a documentary-style film with the help of local film-makers Top Box Media and actors from international theatre company Garlic Theatre.
With the help of 'Dr Jim', children discovered objects from inside the globe's secret compartment, including a crystal to represent light and the importance of the atmosphere, a piece of seaweed to represent the effect pollution has on beaches, a plastic whale, a whale sounds tape, a piece of metal with holes and a mysterious bean-shaped object.
After each discovery they were interviewed by 'Kate the reporter' to share their ideas and emotions.
The children also took part in role-play, speaking and listening and problem-solving activities.
Sparhawk head Carina Ingham said, 'The children were really excited when the UFO first arrived. The project gave them the opportunity to question and learn through talking, developing their confidence and key skills, which will help them as they move up the school'.
A screening of the film at the school on 12 May was attended by children, parents, governors, local councillors and other schools.
To see the film, visit www.eveningnews24.co.uk.

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Measles epidemic is feared as nursery children are hospitalised

By Melanie Defries, Nursery World, 27 May 2009

Outbreaks of measles among children in England and Wales have raised fears that the UK may be facing an epidemic.

Four children from a nursery in south-west Wales have been treated in hospital for the disease and a further 123 cases have been reported.
In England, 53 people in the north-east have caught measles since January and over 100 more cases are under investigation.
The number of cases is already more than four times the total in Wales last year and far exceeds the total number last year in the north-east, when only 17 cases were reported.
The four nursery children, who are all aged under two and attend Hapus Dyrfa, a 58-place nursery in Burry Port, were too young to have received both the MMR jabs that are routinely given at the ages of one and before children start school. The four have now been released from hospital and were due back at nursery on Monday (25 May).
Sioned Saer, one of the nursery's owners, said, 'When we were told that one of the children had measles we got in touch with the National Public Health Service in Wales and followed the advice that they gave us. They visited the nursery on a Friday evening to talk to the parents and immunise the children. By the end of the evening 40 children had been vaccinated.
'We think we are over the worst of it now. It was quite frightening, especially when we realised that four children had been affected - we wondered how bad it was going to get.'
Health officials are urging parents to ensure their children are fully protected against the disease by taking up the MMR jab.
Dr Roberta Marshall, Acting Regional Director for the Health Protection Agency in the north- east, said, 'The measles outbreak is very alarming, especially as the majority of these cases in England could have been prevented, since most were in children who were not fully protected with MMR.
'There are still many children out there who were not vaccinated as toddlers over the past decade and remain unprotected. Unfortunately, this means that measles, which is highly infectious, is spreading easily among these unvaccinated children. Many of these children are now teenagers and still remain at risk.'
To successfully eliminate measles, 95 per cent of a country's population needs to be immunised with two doses of the measles vaccine. Figures show that in Wales only 86 per cent of two-year olds have been given the MMR vaccine, compared with 95 per cent in Scotland. Take-up is even lower in England, where only 85 per cent of two-year-olds have had the MMR.

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Nursery nurse pay to be cut by third

By Catherine Gaunt, Nursery World, 27 May 2009

More than 100 nursery nurses in schools in Devon are set to lose up to a third of their salaries under council plans to bring their pay in line with other council workers.

If it goes ahead, the proposal will mean that nursery nurses' pay will be calculated in the same way as teaching assistants and administrative staff in schools.
Nursery nurses and teachers held a protest meeting last week at Pynes Infant School and Nursery at Bideford with representatives from unions, including Unison.
Under plans currently out for consultation, the council wants to bring in a new job description of Early Years Assistant from 1 September for nursery nurses who are qualified to NVQ level 3 or equivalent, which has been evaluated by the council as 'JE grade C'.
Under the proposals, nursery nurses will no longer qualify to be paid during the school holidays but will have to take a paid 20- to 25-day allocation in that time.
Roger Spackman, Devon County Unison branch secretary, called the council's plans 'atrocious'. He said, 'They're trying to change the job title, but it's the same job. Teachers are paid year-round. There's a disparity between teachers and other staff paid to work alongside each other.
'The council has got everything the wrong way round; it's term-time working that causes the inequality. It's about keeping low-paid women on low pay. It's a cheap way to get round not having a national agreement. If teachers have separate terms and conditions, why shouldn't nursery nurses?'
Based on current terms and conditions, nursery nurses in Devon are considered full-time employees and paid an annual salary if they work 32.5 hours per week during term-time.
The council consultation said, 'The salary paid to a full-time nursery nurse is equivalent to staff employed elsewhere in Devon County Council who work 37 hours per week and all year round. This undermines the requirement for an employer to have equal pay and conditions for staff undertaking work of equal value and could lead to a successful legal challenge.'
The council claims that in effect, full-time nursery nurses are being paid to work 66 per cent of the time of other full-time local government staff paid the same annual salary.
A council spokesperson said, 'We are carrying out a review of the method of calculation of pay for nursery nurses working in maintained schools, in order to harmonise them with council staff on the same grade. Similar reviews have been or are being carried out by local authorities nationally, to address an historic disparity of pay across this sector. We have consulted with trade unions, headteachers, teachers and staff who will be affected and will be reviewing the comments made before making a decision later this month.'
Mr Spackman also queried why the council was making the move at this time when the Support Staff Negotiating Body is set to look at the pay and conditions of all school support staff (Analysis, 5 November 2008).
'There's the new negotiating body which will set pay and conditions in the future. Isn't it a bit short-sighted to make changes now?' he said.

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Nurseries are urged to experiment with favourite outdoor play

By Katy Morton, Nursery World, 13 May 2009 cirencester nanny agency

Exercises at Woodberry Day Nursery, Southampton

Early years settings are being invited to help children get active in outdoor play in a bid to tackle childhood obesity.

The Big Play Experiment is this year's theme for National School Grounds Week from 8-12 June. The annual event is organised by UK school grounds charity Learning Through Landscapes.
The Big Play Experiment aims to get as many children as possible engaging in their recommended 60 minutes of daily physical activity through outdoor play and encourages them to identify activities that motivate them and improve their health.
It also links to the Government's Change4life campaign which is aiming to help whole families eat well, get more exercise and live longer, healthier lives.
Woodberry Day Nursery in Southampton reported a successful try-out of activities for the Big Play Experiment.
Nursery manager Kathy Duchamp said, 'The Big Play Experiment is all about fun activities and is really important as it focuses on play, fresh air and outdoor space.'
She added, 'Testing the activities has kick-started thought about how we use our own outdoor space and it was particularly successful with the children, who still ask to play some of the Big Play Experiment games'.
Practitioners can download a Big Play Experiment resource pack offering a fun and challenging range of activity ideas on how to get children outdoors being active, with tips and support on how to manage and assess any setting's experiment.
During the week children are urged to vote for their favourite activity to find the most popular outdoor game.
To take part in the Big Play Experiment and receive a free resource, visit www.ltl.org.uk/nsgw.htm.

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